5 dating tips for introverts

Being an introvert can make you a great date. For starters, your preference for one-on-one conversations puts you at your ease; then there’s your great listening skills; your tendency to think before you speak; and your favouring of interesting, quirky discussions over regular small talk.

But being an introvert can also have its disadvantages. Your shyness can be mistaken for aloofness or stuck-upness, lack of approachability, or even coldness. And you might have a tendency to hold back, making it difficult for your date to really get to know you.

We’ve put together some of the ways introverts can avoid these potential pitfalls and shine on their dates.

1. Work on your body language
You already know that when you’re not feeling talkative, you can be a great listener. You can let the other person you know that you’re engaged, by smiling, maintaining eye contact and ensuring you don’t put up any barriers such as crossed arms or resting your face in your hands.

2. Focus on the other person’s comfort over your own discomfort
Introverts can be painfully aware of the impressions they’re creating in others, even when they feel powerless to change them. Even the most outgoing individuals can get a case of the butterflies on a date and so focusing on how you can put your date at ease – even when they appear supremely confident - can mean we don’t dwell on our own feelings and can gradually relax with one another.

3. Let the other person know you’re having a nice time
Extroverts can perceive an introvert’s quietness as distance, assuming they’re not interested in their conversation. If you know you sometimes create this impression, your date will be relieved to hear that you’re just ‘a little shy’ and that your quietness isn’t a result of having a terrible time in their company. Often the admission can be the icebreaker you need to relax in one another’s company.

4. Choose a venue you’re at your best in
Introversion can often be characterised by an extreme dislike of loud spaces. If noisy bars or busy restaurants stress you out, simply avoid them. You want to feel as relaxed as possible on your date, so if you know a great little bar that’s perfect for quiet chats, or even an outdoor space where you can talk freely, that’s a much better option. Even if your date would prefer somewhere more ‘lively’, they’re more likely to enjoy experiencing you at your best.

5. Avoid sharing too much before your first date
Introverts are natural sharers and may find emails or phone calls an easier space to give of themselves. If you want your relationship to develop, face time is going to be the critical deciding factor. Avoid revealing too much of yourself in your pre-date correspondence – it means you’ll have more to share when you do meet up, and you’ll avoid hurt feelings or disappointment if the virtual intimacy doesn’t lead to real-world chemistry.

Author: Rebecca
Rebecca is a diehard romantic and journalist with a passion for all things London. Writing the London sugar dating site blog for Flame Introductions gives her the opportunity to drag her husband all over town, sampling cocktails, coffee and culture.